Childhood

I don't remember a lot of my childhood, some of my earliest memories involve abuse, and yelling, and crying, and a lot of fear, that's what i remember the most is the fear. I remember sitting in a corner with my baby sister while my step father beat my mother in the next room, I remember I invented a special place for us to go when that happened, it was a big field with flowers every where, a small stream with the bluest water you've ever seen, and a big weeping willow where we would sit and have a pick-nick with our Grandpa and every thing was perfect. Some times I still go back to that place and for that moment when I'm their everything is right with the world, and for that moment I'm free, and I'm truly happy. Then that moment is gone and I have to deal with life again. I want to enjoy my life I want to be happy and free like I am in my special place but I know that it is unlikely to ever happen.